Sunday, December 13, 2009

Stevey

The first thing you should know about Stevey is that his accent is unique. I don't mean that he speaks in a way that few other people do,  he speaks in a way that no one else does. His thick scottish brogue is almost unintelligible. He made me promise to support Scottish independence if I ever become President. He threatened to throw me over the cliffs near his house if I didn't.

I met Stevey in a pub called Sweeney's in Dunloe after breaking a ladder near his house.
"So this is the fat-ass yankee bastard who owes me a new ladder."
I told him that his ladder was waiting to break and that I'd probably saved his ass if not his life.  He smiled and I bought him a pint and we were instant friends.



I learned that his thatch-roofed house didn't have plumbing or electricity.  He had developed and ingenious 12-rock system for solid human waste.  He would would instruct his guests toward the appropriate rock and gruffly steer them away from the others.  By the time a year had passed, nature would run its course and the rock would again be ready for use.

Stevey bought the house and the extensive land around it from a 'witchy' old woman who had lived in it all her life.  She know he wouldn't develop it of sell it.  He got it for something like 8,000.  It is worth at least 500,000 today if not much more.  

Apart from purporting to hate yankee bastards, he is a very kind man. He is not afraid to sound off about anything. A few years ago, his opinions caused the IRA to threaten to throw him over the cliffs.  Undaunted, Stevey assured them that if they tried, he'd take at least one of them with him.


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